Chapter
five :
An art, science and dangerous game.
Auto-bondage
or self-applied restraint as a topic deserves a whole book to itself!
All it will get from me here is a nod plus a couple of nudges in the
direction of other sources of information.
(This selection
of original commentary has been left intact . Web links to an expanded
sector (topic) will be added when time allows. Jim Stewart - Oct 2004)
It's where
most people start - at least those who trust their instincts.
Practical solo experiment in some form or other is a common story
when there has been an early, unfocussed urge and no one to share
it with. Conscious motives are often confused or nonexistent at the
time. In most recollections about pre-pubescent self-applied lacing
up, wrapping round, tying down, wriggling into self-applied restraint,
the motive only became clear at a later date. Stories of early efforts
exchanged in Bondage Group discussions usually fall into predictable
categories. Here I'm not going to analyse, format-ise or speculate
on WHY the need strikes the young and innocent. Even the juvenile
HOW is irrelevant here; adult techniques and safeguards are under
review. Recalling juvenile technical achievements is only important
now if an experiment went disastrously wrong and left an emotional
scar. Having one's guilty secret game-playing discovered can leave
it's mark on future behaviour. In hindsight one can only ask if it
was really so terrible as it seemed at the time ... or does fear of
discovery remain part of the ‘buzz'?
The need
to feel confined/restrained can stem from various emotional
promptings. The urge to have a good struggle or relax in comfortably
snug body hugging tightness is usually part of a complex mental chemistry.
Nothing particularly unusual, just part of the personality. If warm
dark isolation is attractive, it is no more than the adult equivalent
of a child pulling the blankets over the head: Perhaps demonstrating
the need for a private un-distracting space where thinking time can
be enjoyed with reinforced concentration; alternatively, where an
exhilarating thrash around might defuse a build-up of frustrations.
The motives behind the need are for the individual to consciously
deal with ... or not deal with, as they choose.
The ‘How'
rather than ‘Why' of self-applied bondage alone would take
more space to explore than is available here. Elaborate processes
are complicated to document. Meticulous preparations and strenuous
gyrations are often employed to achieve what is only an illusion of
inescapable bondage. Expending all this energy knowing that a way
out must always be available strikes a lot of people as being a pointless
exercise. For those who need to feel the feelings, the ingenuity is
often part of the ‘buzz'. Sometimes, consciousness of the risk involved
is also part of the game; a dangerous part. Living on the edge is
all very well, BUT ... !
Repeated experiment
enables some people to achieve a degree of restraint that demands
the added spur of desperation to escape successfully. Risk factors
are carefully identified in David Stein's two-part article in BOUND
& GAGGED issues 47 and 48 (see note at end of chapter, page 28).
Here the main point I'm making is that such activities are common
practice; a natural gymnasium for many people who have found no opportunity
for shared experiences (so far) or who deliberately choose the solo
path.
Playing
solo by choice rather than through lack of playmates has
advantages. It avoids the need to compromise on personal preferences.
This may sound selfish but here we're talking about a special kind
of self-indulgence. Accommodating other peoples tastes, pace or level
of intensity takes the exercise into a different realm. Shared experiences
can be great, but private indulgence allows us to explore ourselves.
It may leave us aware of what was missing. It may encourage a sharper
focus on the direction of our needs. Time spent alone is valuable
to the creative process; any writer or artist will confirm this. The
effort to assemble the means of self-applied restraint, then set aside
the time to embark on a sensual, technical process, working towards
a predetermined goal is an exercise in self-discipline. To achieve
a sense of helplessness or immobilisation but still remain in control
is, unquestionably, a FANTASY situation. In theatre the “Willing suspension
of disbelief” is necessary to acceptance of the illusion before us.
In our “Theatre of the Mind's Eye” (which is how I often describe
the process of generating a jerk-off fantasy) creating the effect
rather than the reality can be extremely potent. The presence of other
characters whose input may be out of tune or timing with the illusion
we are trying to create, can be a distraction. However, there is a
middle ground.
The unobtrusive
presence of another person during such activities can allow
exciting extensions of the self-induced experience. Having someone
within calling distance in case of emergency; having someone to tighten
a final strap and then withdraw for a pre-agreed time while still
monitoring your well-being; both situations are a healthy extension
of an essentially self-determined bondage experience. From a safety
angle even when elaborate self-release mechanisms are part of the
intellectual exercise, someone unobtrusively in attendance allows
greater freedom to explore practicalities and impracticalities of
self-applied restraint and self-release. Certainly it makes first
experiments with time-locks or more rudimentary devices such as candles
and ice more safe.
Trusting
to technology in self-applied bondage situations is strongly
advised against by most practiced enthusiasts. Electrical timers,
set to open at the required time certainly also need to open if the
power goes off, rather than stay closed. Rigging keys to drop when
the hands of a clock reach a certain point depend on the clock not
losing power or the clockwork running down. Ice as a release mechanism
can be unpredictable as far as thaw time is concerned. Even a combination
padlock closed in the dark leaving someone chained until it becomes
light enough to read the numbers depends on remembering to open the
curtains so it DOES eventually get light ... and having your glasses
handy if you need them to see the numbers!
Possible
dangers of Self-applied Restraint are many and varied. Awareness
of the potential dangers, limitations and consequences especially
in terms of circulation and ability to breathe need to be learned.
Obviously, early experiences should be as risk-free as possible, preferably
with someone on hand to deal with emergencies. However, you may decide
that, although such help is at hand, it need not necessarily be given.
An available get-out option can inhibit the learning process. Experience
of panic situations and unplanned-for problems provide valuable lessons.
Learning to deal with the unexpected is part of this particular game.
When a planned escape suddenly turns out to be impossible ... it's
amazing what additional resources a person can summon up as the situation
becomes intolerable. However, all such experiences are best learned
when help is on hand ... even if it is deliberately being withheld.
Being allowed to discover the additional personal resources desperation
can bring is a valuable experience. Sometimes, knowing help is on
hand can be counter productive. The balance of risk-taking and practical
precautions is a matter for both parties in such a scenario to explore
together ... but self-determination is very much the name of the game
under discussion.
Totally
escape-proof self-applied restraint is a fantasy objective
sought by many. This can, in fact, be achieved but brings with it
a dangerous element of risk. For someone completely alone to lock
on restraints which allow for no change of mind and no possible let-out
... having previously arranged for outside help to arrive and release
at a specific time is a game of serious intensity. This affords experience
of anxious time spent alone and unmonitored in totally escape-proof
restraint for a maybe unpredictable period ... with absolutely no
opportunity for backing out. Knowing that some reliable person is
due to arrive and end the session at an agreed time (ALL BEING WELL!)
is a Head-trip in itself. If the agreed time is slightly flexible,
clock-watching or blind time guessing is immaterial. Dealing with
the inescapable situation becomes the name of the game. Obviously
the restraint needs to be generally safe as well as escape-proof.
Time spent in such serious alone-ness can be unexpectedly traumatic
for the trapped person. The risk of fire, flood or earthquake is a
real factor which some self-applied bondage game-players are willing
to accept ... at least until they've had to deal with the serious
possibility. Wondering whether the person due to arrive may forget,
lose the key to your door or be hit by a truck does certainly add
another dimension to scenarios I am describing.
Many knowledgeable
people will be incensed by my suggestion here and vehemently say “do
not in any circumstances!”. I say “Never say never ... but be aware
of all the risks”. Then if risk taking is part of the ‘buzz' and you're
an intelligent responsible adult, you should be free to choose, just
as when you choose to go hang-gliding, bungee jumping or to get married.
All are calculated risks ... you take all possible precautions ...
then enjoy the gamble.
Self-applied
restraint miscalculations feature regularly in the tabloid
press with predictably contemptuous comments. Death by misadventure
features with depressing regularity in Police records. “Auto-erotic
Fatalities”, a book compiled from F.B.I. records contains bizarre
accounts of fail-safe escape routes that failed. As in planning a
crime, the unexpected must always be expected. Available safety advice
should be taken very seriously. Even the most simple omission in planning
can result in embarrassing revelations when you're forced to phone
a friend or knock on a neighbour's door semi-trussed-up. In such circumstances
better a red face than a dead bondage bunny.
How responsible
is a publisher if detailed suggestions (even in the form
of fiction) result in someone following a described path and coming
to a sticky end? This is something I have often discussed with magazine
editors. The argument that publishing information can tempt people
to play in dangerous waters is easily countered by the fact that many
people will play intuitively but often are totally unaware of the
necessary precautions. Availability of information can be extremely
valuable to them. Objective advice based upon experience is certainly
safer than a conspiracy of silence.
Technical
details of self-applied restraint processes have always
fascinated me. I have compiled a dossier of described self-applied
restraints but it is not comprehensive. On paper detailed description
can be as complicated as choreographic dance notation. Home videos
of people resolutely putting themselves into, rolling around in and
(hopefully) getting out of tight corners are instructive and occasionally
hilarious. The extraordinary range of ways different people invent
to achieve a sense of restraint is worth exploring. David Stein, in
his detailed article gives a thorough over-view of the subject, including
descriptions of techniques and a comprehensive list of safety precautions.
There is not space to reprint the two-part article here, but back
issues 47 and 48 of BOUND AND GAGGED magazine are currently available
from OUTBOUND PRESS see page 80 for address. In addition, David's
excellent survey of general bondage safety measures “PLAYING SAFE”
is available from Fetters (see page 86 for details).
END
CHAPTER FIVE
CONTINUE
to chapter six
BACK
to contents of "So I Like To Get Tied-up ... So What!!?"